Published: 11.01.2026
Today’s session was for 40 minutes, and in some ways it went quite well. This was the first session where I noticed very few thoughts about planning for the future or replaying events from the past. There was much less narrative thinking than usual, and that I could notice this shift (even though it was subtle).
The discomfort today came from something else (see the mind is still noticing discomfort). I kept dozing off, but not in the way I usually understand sleep. These were strange states where it felt like I would disappear for a few seconds and then come back, while my eyes remained closed the entire time. There was no clear moment of falling asleep or waking up. It just felt like brief gaps in continuity. What made these moments even stranger was that I could not recall them at all once I came out of them. They did not feel like dreams, and they were not fragments of memory or imagination. They were not glimpses of the past or projections into the future. They felt more like very lucid blanks, and yet I could not retain access to their content. Each time I returned, there was a slight disorientation, and just the sense that something had passed, even though it left nothing behind. To rule out simple fatigue or sleep deprivation, I plan to meditate during the day tomorrow instead of later. I want to see whether these dozing states still show up when I am more alert, or if they disappear altogether.