Published: 22.01.2026
Today I had my longest session so far, which lasted 55 minutes. I woke up earlier than usual and couldn’t go back to sleep, even though my rational mind wanted to. Then I thought that I could try meditating instead. If I fell asleep, that would be a great outcome. And if I managed to meditate, that would also be a great outcome too.
The session itself felt similar to most of the others. I do not know why people often say that real meditation starts only after 45 minutes, because I did not experience anything especially different today. I had thoughts, as usual. I was able to push some of them away. There were a few thoughts that I engaged with more deeply, especially the ones where I realised I have a recurring problem in my life. With those thoughts, I tried to explore them slowly, understand them, and feel them instead of pushing them away. Some of them felt like they got resolved, and some of them clearly did not. Since yesterday, there has been another shift in how I am looking at things, primarily influenced by the books I’ve been reading. I have started seeing the world, and everything that unfolds around us, as a kind of a theatre play. Everyone, including me, feels like a character, and every character is playing a role. Some people seem to be trying very hard to play that role properly. A very few seem to be improvising along the way. And most characters, seem to have forgotten that they are characters at all. I intuitively feel that this is true, although I am not sure I have fully arrived at this conclusion yet. I think a great place to reach might be to truly know and accept that everything is a play. From there, you can sit outside it and simply observe (everything and everyone, including yourself). You can watch it unfold and derive entertainment from it (emotional entertainment included) without being completely pulled in to believing that it is the reality.