Published: 20.01.2026
Today I did a 35 minute session. Overall, it felt steadier than the previous few days. I noticed more moments where I could catch myself drifting into thought and gently bring my attention back to the breath or to sensations in the body. The returning also felt easier than usual because the gap between distraction and awareness seemed slightly shorter.
One thing that stood out to me today was the nature of the thoughts themselves. Not all mental commentary is harmful or distracting. Thoughts that are not about the past or the future do not seem to create the kind of emotional pull that usually leads to anxiety, regret, or restlessness. Some of this commentary feels more like the mind trying to understand something better, or quietly making sense of an idea. At the same time, not having control over when these thoughts appear still feels like an obstacle. Even when the content is neutral or curious, it pulls attention away from what I had intended to focus on during this time. It also feels like a possible gateway into more past or future oriented thinking, which I already know tends to be less helpful (when done without intention). And yet, this same kind of commentary is also where insight comes from. It leads to understanding, and sometimes to small moments of clarity that unlock a subtle feeling of joy. Which leads me to believe that meditation is not really about shutting down thinking. It feels more like learning how to engage with thought selectively. Some thoughts are genuinely useful. They lead to clarity, insight, and even happiness. But they only seem to help when I choose them deliberately. The skill I am slowly trying to build is recognising which thoughts deserve attention right now, which ones can wait, and which ones are just noise.